Last week was a horrible week. I got some devastating news on Wednesday, and had myself a good old fashioned melt down and cried harder than I can remember crying in a very long time. But I could not afford to wallow. My kids were going to be home from their homeschool co-op classes in a little while, and I had work to do and the Blue and Gold Banquet to prepare for. I asked the Lord to please help me shoulder this burden, so I could put on a happy face for my family. He did, and I was able to splash my face and start dinner before the children ran in the door with their news of the day.
Before I pulled myself together, I was crying out to my Father in Heaven. I told him, “This is too hard, this is too much.” I wanted him to take the pain away, fix everything to be as it was before. He helped me remember this story:
This thing I am going through is a very hard thing, and it weighs heavily on my heart and mind. But I know now that it isn’t too hard, and it isn’t too much. With God I can do all things. The Lord will provide, and I know he is the gardener here. He will make me into something beautiful. It is painful now, but it will be okay in the end.
There is so much more to what is happening, but I’m just not sure how I feel about putting it online — and much of it isn’t sorted / decided quite yet. I am so thankful for my loving parents who have been able to help, and for dear friends who were able to listen and come bearing Moose Tracks.
I’m even thankful for our ugly spring. It is brown and cold and mushy, but that is what it’s like before the dawn of a new season. There are new beginnings all around me, and though we don’t have crocuses yet, I can see the signs of new life.
I am sorry to be so vague, I hope you’ll forgive me. Things really are looking up; it was just such a bad week, and my lovely current bush that I worked so hard on is weeping a bit. But all will be well.
The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
- Job 1:21
And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
- Mosiah 24:14