Well, to be fair, I like it when it’s all lit up. I like sitting in the front room with a cup of hot cocoa while N. plays his Christmas music on the piano, and we all bask in its Saturday Evening Post glow.
But I hate putting it up. Actually, this year was better than the last decade of Christmases. We got a new tree on a post-Thanksgiving online sale (which, I have words and feelings about, such as – I think many retailers just mark stuff up so you think you’re getting a deal, when you really aren’t. Like, this tree was supposedly a frillion dollars, ours for a mere fraction of the MSRP. Whatevers. It’s nicer than our old one, but it’s definitely not a frillion-dollar-tree.)
Anyway. Our old tree featured a defunct built in lighting system and these weird paper-like fake needles that shed worse than my dogs in the spring. The complicated plugs and mad nest of wires made it so difficult to set up, and my husband would whimper and rock in the corner (figuratively, in case that wasn’t clear) when it came time to haul it out of storage and start wrestling with it. So this one is not pre-lit (don’t they all burn out anyway?) so it went together much more easily.
I know. All artificial trees require fluffing so they don’t look emaciated. But UGH. The Grinch and I are BFFs at the moment, but seriously, I had just finished working a really long day trying to catch up after a massive power outage kinda wrecked my schedule, and there were various little Boy Scouts ghosting around with stacks of merit badge paperwork wanting me to focus and sign things, and I was all hairied and up to my shoulders in itchy fake pine needles, trying to FLUFF, FLUFF, FLUFF properly, and I kinda snapped.
The atmospheric Christmas channel on Pandora was blaring an aggressively synthesized Mannheim Steamroller song at the time, so that contributed, I’m sure.
I am actually sore today. Like I went and did Cross Fit or something. Decorating a Christmas tree better have burned off some calories, is all I’m saying.
So. It’s up, and we can all be freaking merry and bright now. Oh wait, except I still need to hang the outside lights and the stockings. AUGH.