I’m a pretty good decision maker. I like to set my sights on something and make it happen. I don’t waffle too often and I can even be a bit rash with my willingness to jump in feet first. When I come up against a decision that is harder to make, I think my brain sort of shuts down. There isn’t a clear black and white answer? What? What is this gray colored problem? I shall consume sugar and cry a lot and watch thirty episodes of Once Upon a Time.
I don’t think a choice without an immediate clear answer automatically means it’s wrong choice — I think often good decisions can be murky and it takes a leap of faith to make them. Still, we found that even though we could get psyched up about the 30 acres, we’d usually revert to nail chewing by the next morning. It would feel more calm and settled and peaceful if we considered walking away. Even though that was a painful thought, it did make more financial sense, too.
We spent Tuesday morning with the architect and he listened to me and didn’t think I was crazy. We now have 2600 square foot plans plus the larger 3000 square foot plans. But there was still a lot of pressure to make a hard and fast decision quick since the bank & county need copies of the plans in order to move forward.
On Wednesday the earnest money was due according to our sale contract, but that morning we weren’t any more decided than we were the day before. So we got in the car and drove to the temple. On the way we got a phone call from the lender. There was a snag — not an insurmountable snag — but enough of one that would delay the whole process a month or two, which was definitely not in the seller’s timeframe. Still, it sounded like it could still work, but it gave us another opportunity to walk.
We drove around a bit in the lovely spring sunshine and by the time we got home, we had decided to let it go. We talked with the seller and he understood — while part of me hopes the land is still available in a month or two, I’m sure it won’t be. It was priced so well and he had two other buyers behind us.
I feel so peaceful and settled about it all. I didn’t even cry.
Meanwhile we’ve got some pretty sweet house plans in a smaller design, plus the 3000 square foot one, just in case. I’m happy we will have more time to think about those and decide what we want to do in a less frantic and rushed manner. And the architect will be happy to modify them as needed.
Now, while I haven’t experienced any regret or sadness over letting the property go, I do feel a little physically ill. But that’s because I need to change my stress coping mechanism from devouring chocolate to plowing through bags of carrots.