What the crap? You never call, you never write. Not even a postcard. I’m hurt.
What is THAT supposed to mean???!!!!!!
Hurt AND confused,
I… I don’t know how to phrase this in a way that won’t hurt your feelings. But I just don’t give a crap, you know? Like, do you ever get to that point in life where you’re just like… this is the garden where I grow my craps and it’s TOTALLY empty? Like, all the crap plants just died? I just, I.. I have no craps to give!
I think that is extremely rude, and a poor analogy besides.
- A CRAPPY Blog, apparently.
Sigh. It’s not like this is new, you know. It happens. I get all wanderlusty and trip over to Godaddy and start looking for new domain names. I’ve actually been really good lately! I only own like 4 domain names! That’s a total record. I think I owned 22 in 2004.
Anyway. I don’t know. It’s not you, it’s me. Besides, I’m not gone forever or anything. I mean, I’ve been lovingly printing all your archives into books! Real live bound books that sit on my shelf.
Snif. Really? Books? Do you even include the posts you’ve made private over the years? Hidden away like parts of me are something to be ashamed of?
Yes. Real live books with all the posts I decided were best kept between me and you only, like a secret. Like a SPECIAL secret.
“Special secret” sounds gross.
Don’t be gross,
K? Just K? What, is this conversation over? Like OVER, OVER?
No, you’re just exhausting. But books! On my shelf! Yay!
I guess I’m okay with that. Will you at least leave me up so all my Pinterest fans (preens and struts) can find us? And you’ll tell everyone, right? All the people that visit me and click my links and use my search box? I love it when they use my search box.
Erm. Now you’re sounding a bit gross, but whatever. Yes, I’ll tell people. I’ll move some (not all, mind) of your posts over, and do fancy redirects so your super fanz can find you.
p.s. I hate to be the one to tell you but a lot of your super fans are just bots. You know this right? The amount of spam we’re receiving after joining the BlogHer network is STAGGERING.
(See? I can be all short and succinct and cool-like. Don’t write back, I’m too busy polishing things up for the big move, and planting some give-a-crap seeds in your barren wasteland of a short-attention-span care-garden.)
p.s. We’ve already had this argument. People control bots so they count as fans.
p.p.s you’re a loser face.
p.p.p.s. You should at least tell all your readers, I mean BOTS what happened with the house you were sniveling about. Geez.
p.p.p.p.s. I mean it, don’t write back.
Blog is right. I do owe you an update, yes? So there was like the tiniest smidgen of hope for about a week that the other buyers might hit a snag or whatever, but alas. It was not to be. So we’ve been hunting around and looking at places and I’m NOT drawing up floorplans and remodeling places in my head because I get way too attached. There is a little something in the works and I hope we’ll make an offer on it this week, but I have no idea how it’ll go.
How is that for public restraint?
ALSO, I don’t really have any immediate plans to change domains or anything, but my (online) give a crap garden is suffering from a bit of a drought. It really does happen from time to time and I’ll either start blogging more regularly or reinvent everything. Dunno. But if I did move, I really would let you all know, so don’t lose sleep or anything (haha hahahahaaa haaaaahh).